How to Transmute Grief

In 2013, I was face to face with the grief monster. A full term baby died in my belly. There was nothing that existed that could console me. On top of having no baby, my body was acting as if I had one. There were reminders in each minute of the day that I didn’t have a baby in my arms. I had him by natural childbirth because he was out before they could find a vein, so I was bleeding and uncomfortable. Then the milk started coming in. Advice was given to not touch my breasts and they would stop producing milk. In the meantime, I was in extreme pain. Now add wacky hormones on top of that…I wasn’t tearless for at least 2 weeks.

What I had, that millions of other mothers in this situation didn’t, was a way to move my energy, the electrical, emotional part of my body. A body in itself.

As soon as I got home from the hospital I started tapping on my body at acupressure points. A technique I learned from Gary Craig and Nick Ortner. I also used Gratitude. My first statement, under extreme duress, was “I am grateful for this chair.” I was able to start teaching again after two weeks, but I was barely holding together. It was a very long process to release the grief monster. I felt like sometimes it had taken over my body.

I write this experience to share that there is an even greater energy mover that has come online recently and moves energy in deeper layers, faster, with less repetitions. We call it the Gratitude-Joy-Love Reactor. It takes negative emotion and thoughts and transmutes them. See figure A.

Imagine an open flower at “A”. I use a lotus. Any flower that opens like a lotus works.

Now you need breath and imagination so close your eyes.

Breathe your feelings into the open flower. Blow out like you are blowing up a resistant balloon, but your mind is blowing into the flower. Continue taking breaths and blowing out until you feel no emotion left. If your mind starts wandering, you have definitely reached that point.

See the flower close around all of your emotion. Close it tightly.

Using the same kind of breath, in your imagination, move that flower through a tube from point A to point B. If you can feel energy, move it until you feel no resistance. If you don’t feel energy, move it 10 times back and forth.

Do the same for B to C, C to D, and D to E.

Grief comes in waves, so you will use this multiple times.

This channel also works for worry, anger, fear, obsessive thoughts, unpleasant news…anything involving emotion.

If you need help with this process, contact me.

Figure A