A New Beginning

Today, Phillip is encouraging me to reflect upon how hard this journey has been.

It began with a surprise pregnancy in August of 2012 that led to a dead baby in May of 2013...all so I would have an energetic womb in which to build this new avatar that we are now receiving. It's pretty hardcore to acknowledge that I was badass enough to accept this horrendous assignment before coming here.

The photo is pregnant me at age 42, almost 43 sitting on Mark's lap. She had no idea who she was, but she had a feeling the baby wasn't going to survive and something much larger than her was happening.

Current me knows that life as she has known it is no longer going to exist. How that new place looks is incomprehensible. I know I'm an outlier and may experience relationships falling away because of it. So I guess more grief is forthcoming. I will do as I have always done and that is press on.

I feel certain that Mark is my buddy through it all...always part of the plan from before knowing. I am grateful for him...beyond words. The past 10 years would not have been possible without him. He kept me alive...from the death of a baby to the creation of a new body... My co-creator in human form.

Perhaps these are final words from anonymity. Scared but supported. Perhaps it will be the first time I am not shunned?

Perhaps perhaps perhaps.